Zeno of Citium Being stoic, resiliant and strong

Zeno of Citium Being stoic, resiliant and strongZeno of Citium Being stoic, resiliant and strongAs influential as Zeno of Citium has been, bedrngnishing that he wrote has survived to modern day.Around 300 BC in Athens, he was one of the most revered teachers. His claim to fame is that he founded Stoicism, a school of philosophy chiefly interested in how we ought to live.Our understanding of his approach to Stoicism, then, comes from second-hand surces. While the philosophy has continued to evolve, with popular interpretations coming from great Romans like Seneca and Marcus Aurelius, much of it grew on the roots Zeno nurtured.He divided his thinking into three categories logic, which he equated with the study of things like knowledge, perception, and thought physics, which was his approach to nature and science and ethics, which concerned itself with the daily conduct of living and being.Out of ansicht three, however, it was ethics that he was primarily interested in, seeing the other two categories as means a framework to support and carry his conclusions.Zenos ideas were built on older methodologies of the Cynics and the thinking of Socrates, but rather than lean toward one side or the other, he mixed and matched as he saw fit.Naturally, there is some disagreement about what exactly Zenos system laid out and the finer details of his approach, but in broad strokes, we can paint a fairly accurate picture.1Its easy to get caught in the deeper mysteries of reality, and in the process, we sometimes forget to pay attention to what it actually means to live as a matter of daily conduct. The Stoics, like Zeno, showed how we can close this gap byLiving in accordance with ur natureSeeing virtue as the source of goodnessHaving a neutral valuation of the worldToday, the word stoic connotates resilience and fortitude, but there is more to it than that.Living in Accordance With Our NatureCurrently, science studies the natural world and tries to pinpoint it as either a mean s to other ends, like controlling and predicting our surroundings, or simply as a thing of value in itself.In a Stoic worldview, these reasons may be good enough, and they can fit into the broader framework, but they stop short of the primary reason for studying nature and its phenomena to better understand ourselves and how our personal actions fit into the cosmic dance.As beings of evolution, we have aspects of nature embedded into us. We have inclinations toward both change and harmony, competition and cooperation, pursuits and comforts.Now, of course, certain traits have a stronger pull in some people than others, and when we are young, many of these traits are raw, but as we age and as we experience, we can use reason to move us away from instinct toward an understanding that accords with the world.If we follow this path of reason, what we are often left with are core motivations that drive us to pursue our interests, core motivations that move us to take care of those around u s, and core motivations to overcome different challenges that life throws our way.The key thing to note here is that the Stoics were against blind romanticism, where feelings and pleasures guide what we do. No, Zeno taught that we use experience and then refine it with reason as a way to harmonize with the world and thats what should guide us.Once a certain refinement has been reached, then its pull works like a compass, one we shouldnt fight if its telling us that we should go in the other direction when we are stuck.At any point in life, there is a larger wave around our body that gives form to many of our characteristics, and its on us to both ride this wave and to let it flow through us as we do.Seeing Virtue as the Source of GoodnessOnce we have a clear understanding of our relationship to both our nature and the broader nature, we are absolved from all of the uncertainties that we are likely to face but one.This brings us to the core of the Stoic worldview their ethics. At the end of the day, very little of this matters unless, in some way, we change our actions, conducts, and ways of being.While using reason and experience to align ourselves with our surroundings is a start, its not the end. There are still conflicts that we are likely to face, namely those that challenge us, where the broader nature is putting undue stress on our own personal experience.When, for example, we get hurt, or when reality fails to meet our expectations, or when we lose people we care about, there is clearly a conflict, and harmonizing things isnt easy.Here Zeno would say that any action or conduct is right if it is simply good. And what does he mean by good? Well, something is good if it is virtuous when you use your reason to change what it is in your control (which is your reaction) and let go of what isnt (a problem).When you put virtue at the center, as the most meaningful thing to strive toward, you take full responsibility for how you experience reality because virtue is born within you not in the outside world. If something is wrong, its because you are not matching your responsibility.It may be true that people are treating you unfairly, or that it wasnt your fault, or that life in general is just hard, but once a non-reversible event has occurred, you can do one of two things fight it or harmonize with it. And if you cant change the world, the only way to harmonize with it is to change your reaction to create goodness by doing the virtuous thing.The better your reaction, the more virtuous of a life you live, and the more good you create.Having A Neutral Valuation of the WorldThe importance of virtue highlights the value of managing our internal reality that what is good and true comes from looking inward. Fair enough, but what about the outside world?If the only source of goodness is the part of us in charge of managing our reaction to outside events, then what exactly is the point of caring about anything in the world surrounding us?This que stion is where Zeno and his followers diverged away from the Cynics, a different brand of philosophers, who Zeno built his ideas on. The Cynics claimed that the outside world didnt matter at all. As long as you kept your internal world in check, you were fine.The Stoics, however, argued that it does matter. The objects we experience and live around may not carry positive or negative values in themselves, but they play an important role.Everything in the outside world is neutral. In itself, its neither good nor bad it simply is. That said, the way our internal virtue and goodness interacts with this world is of consequence. For example, its more preferable to avoid sickness by being cautious than to walk into it.Striving for health and wealth and community, things that help to preserve us, are natural and preferable, as long as we dont confuse them as the source of our virtue and goodness.Once we have refined our innate reason, and once we pursue the core motivations that it has imbu ed in us, not interacting with this world of external objects would be an act against the harmony. It would be creating a conflict where there otherwise would not be one.Many Stoics that lived after Zeno had a different relationship with the external reality and its demands, making a case for things like duty, but they all agreed that it plays a key role.All You Need to KnowIts a simple idea control what you can and let go of what you cant. But it takes more than just saying it and knowing it for it to truly kick into effect in the day to day business of living.Zeno of Citium, the first Stoic, may not have left behind a perfectly clear system for us to study, but there is enough there to guide us toward our own variations of the framework.There are three key things we can learn from himLive in accordance with nature. By using our experience to study nature and then refining this experience with reason, we can harmonize our drives with the broader reality around us. We are a very sma ll part of the cosmic dance, one that moves through us, and its our job to ensure that we are living in ways that are honest to it.See virtue as the source of goodness. If there is a conflict between our experience and the broader nature, we can either fight against it or seek to harmonize with it. Its our responsibility to adjust our reactions to things once they have occurred and once they are outside our control. Virtue and goodness are born from how well we do this.Have a neutral valuation of the world. Things that exist externally arent good or bad in themselves they are neutral. Nonetheless, even though virtue is born within and goodness can only be created internally, the external world does have a role to play. Health and wealth and community are preferable to the alternatives.We may have our own terminology for it, but something like virtue is inherent in all of our conceptual model of reality. Our job is simply to remember what we already know.Being stoic has a lot to do w ith being resilient and strong, yes, but its also a way of life.Want to think and live smarter? Zat Rana publishes a free weekly newsletter for 30,000+ readers atDesign Luck.Thisarticlewas originally published onDesign Luck.

How to Speak Slowly During a Job Interview

How to Speak Slowly During a Job InterviewHow to Speak Slowly During a Job InterviewReaders of a certain age will remember those humorous commercials of our childhoods when an impossibly fast narrator would pitch the wonders amassing your very own fleet of miniature toy cars. If your gray hairs and memories dont quite reach that far back, then most of us can at least pinpoint that one friend or acquaintance that rambles on at breakneck speed through even the most relaxed of conversations. While these scenarios may come off as amusing at the time, rapid speaking is hard to understand and makes it difficult to maintain a multi-sided discussion. During an bewerbungsinterview, speaking too quickly can also create the appearance of nervousness, undermining much-needed confidence on the part of both candidates and interviewers.Confident, clear and well-paced conversation is an essential skill to master before entering any interview room. If youre one of the many that get a case of the jitt ers or has a bad habit of speaking too quickly, weve got a few tips and tricks to help slow things down.Practice Pacing Your Rate of SpeechSimilar to the way that you would review the job description, perform due diligence on the prospective employer, or prep your resume, practicing your speech is an essential part of preparing for your in person or telephone interview. Studies show that the ideal rate of conversational speech is 130 to 150 words per minute. Trust us, this is much fewer than it sounds. Using a word count feature, type up around 300 words of your choice. While your favorite song, poem, or high school speech and debate presentation are more than acceptable, a personal description of your work experience may be a bit more applicable and true to life. With a digital timer in hand, recite your 300-ish words, stopping the time when youve wrapped the entire diatribe. If you finish too early, practice slowing down your verbiage. Run over, consider hurrying things up a bit. After a few tries, youll develop an ear for proper pacing.Be an Active ListenerIn addition to practicing your rate of speech, developing active listening skills is another handy method to pace both your individual speech and the speed of the conversation itself. In typical social situations with friends or family, familiarity with individuals speech patterns often leads us to groe nachfrage over, interrupt or anticipate others comments. In an interview, however, candidates should make a concerted effort to listen to the interviewers full questions and explanations without adding in extraneous comments or interjecting. In addition to helping the conversation develop a more natural and engaging pace, learning to listen to your interviewer can help you identify key facts to use at a later date to show youre capable of collecting and applying facts, figures and critical information which are key soft skills employers look for in quality candidates. Remember to Relaxand BreatheMany candi dates have perfectly normal, slow pacing of their speech in social situations but find themselves running their mouths a mile a minute in an interview. This often has less to do with actual skills and more to do with a serious case of interview-induced jitters.While weve espoused on techniques to reduce interview nervousness previously, its worth a quick recap of speech and verbal pacing in mind. If you feel your nerves starting to act up during an interview, try taking a few deep breaths to collect yourself. Limit the amount of caffeine you take in prior to the interview as this can spike blood pressure and cause artificially induced jitteriness. If you find yourself doubting your ability to remember, try bringing a notepad into your interview. Your prospective employer will appreciate both your preparedness and attention to detail while youll have a crutch to lean on for a quick self-confidence.As the last word of advice, the best way to combat nerves, slow your speech and increas e your chances at landing a lucrative job offer is to show up prepared with plenty of practice under your belt. Plenty of practice prior to your interview will serve a variety of important functions, all of which will help you move that much closer to landing the job of your dreams.

How to make your marriage awesome 6 secrets from a top divorce lawyer

How to make your marriage awesome 6 secrets from a top divorce lawyerHow to make your marriage awesome 6 secrets from a top divorce lawyerActually, I lied. This isbedrngnisa how-to.Good god, there are so many how-to posts about relationships, its exhausting. (Im tired of them and Im responsible forplentyof themmyself.)So lets mix it up, shall we?Follow Ladders on FlipboardFollow Ladders magazines on Flipboard covering Happiness, Productivity, Job Satisfaction, Neuroscience, and moreThis is a how-not-to.Hownotto make the mistakes that destroy relationships, marriages, and happiness. Im the guy who loves looking at academic research, but I also feel we gain a lot fromnon-academic experts. Ive talked to FBI hostage negotiators aboutlowering your cable bill, Navy SEALs onhow to be more resilient, and bomb disposal experts onhow to stay calm under pressure.So what can a top divorce attorney tell you about how to make sure you never, ever have to step foot in his office? A lot, actually.Ja mes Sexton has handlumineszenzdiode more than 1000 divorces. He doesnt claim to know what makes a relationship work but he sure knows whatdoesnt.FromIf Youre in My Office, Its Already Too LateIve had a ringside seat to countless ruined or doomed-from-the-start relationships. After two decades of performing this profoundly intimate service for so many ex-spouses-to-be, as well as for people in myriad other relationship permutations (e.g., living together having a child in common), the sheer bulk of behauptung observations has turned into wisdom of sorts.His book is If Youre in My Office, Its Already Too Late. Given that divorce is one of the few things that can put apermanent dentin your happiness levels, we should let James play Virgil to our Dante and tour us through this netherworld so we never have to take up residence there.Learning lessons from the successful is great, but sometimes we get more from looking at those who didnt fare as well - so we can avoid their mistakes.Time for the not-so-happy to show us how to be happier. Lets get to itDefine A Good MarriageGo ahead I dare you. No vague platitudes, either.sound of cricketsIts not easy, is it? Honestly, its not even a fair question becauseevery parties definition would be different. In fact, your own definition would alfruchtwein certainly change at different points in your life before kids, after kids, during retirement, etc.But we rarely answer this question. And rarer still is getting clear on the answer with your spouse. Does tying your happiness to the achievement of an undefined goal seem like a very good strategy to you?FromIf Youre in My Office, Its Already Too LateIf youve thought long and hard about what marriage means, congratulations Youre different from many of my clients What roles, specifically, will you play in this parties life, and they in yours? What do you get in exchange for doing this? Whats the job description of marriage?This is a big problem. James says marriages fail for onl y two reasons.FromIf Youre in My Office, Its Already Too LateI have learned, over and over, that marriages and other committed relationships fail for two fundamental reasons. 1) You dont know what you want. 2) You cant express what you want. End of story.So whats your definition of a happy marriage? What responsibilities does that entail? What are you entitled to and what are you not? And is your spouse on the same page?Truth is, peopledoanswer these questions eventuallyBut, unfortunately, its often once theyre already sitting in James office.FromIf Youre in My Office, Its Already Too LateIts strange to me- sad, actually- that the first time people ask themselves these questions is, quite often, in my office, when theyre in the process of crumpling up the future that wasnt. Isnt this inquiry something that married people should be doing on a regular basis? Individually, and especially together? In simply talking things out with me- often brutally, but clearly and in detail- my clie nts gain a real sense of how they define generic, vague terms such as success, happiness, and security, often for the first time in their adult life. When is the last time you and your spouse discussed what it specifically means to be happy and how you each define that term?Have this conversation with yourself. And have it with your spouse. That way you dont have to have it with James.(To learn more about how you can lead a successful life, check out my bestselling bookhere.)Okay, weve covered the big picture. So what else is vital when it comes to communicating with your spouse?Be Hyper-Honest With Your PartnerYeah, I know sounds cliche. Be honest with your partner. But were going way past polite honesty here. Were going to Stage-4-Cringe-Level-Honesty.The kind where you start to grimace in pain at just theideaof saying that thing out loud.We assume far too many things are obvious. And its often very self-serving. It prevents us from having uncomfortable conversations or having to ask for things that are scary. But we still want to be able to call our partner out if they dont do-the-thing-we-never-actually-mentioned. Im not a lawyer butlast time I checked, contracts that only one person has signed arent enforceable.Of course, James hears people complain about their spousesa lot. But when he asks, Did you tell them that? the fruchtwein common response is, Well, they should have known.People cant hear what you dont say.FromIf Youre in My Office, Its Already Too LateNo one- not even individuals in really happy couples, or with exceptional hearing- can hear what the other person isnt saying. Its easy to look at couples on the verge of a breakup and nod about their lack of communication Well, of course they broke up- they long ago stopped communicating frequently and effectively. But that could also be Monday-morning-quarterbacking. Flip the sentiment and it makes just as much sense They dont communicate frequently and effectively, so of course theyre bound to bre ak up.If you dont tell them, they cant address it. So you stay irritated. And resentment festers. And that leads to arguments that reachcall-911-levelsbecause the argument isnt about what the argument is about.So communicate early and often. Say that thing, even if it makes you uncomfortable.Especiallyif it makes you uncomfortable. Because grievances that go unspoken accumulate compound interest at a faster rate than your 401K.You wouldnt ignore your bank balance for a month. Dont ignore the state of your relationship for that long either. Fix the small cavity so its not a root canal later.FromIf Youre in My Office, Its Already Too LateEverything comes out eventually- everything One reason to get it all out is to make things unpleasant sooner rather than later, because the later unpleasant is way more unpleasantThe other reason is so that the real problem can be discovered before it gets buried. We try so hard not to integrierte schaltung the glass that we shatter it. We try so hard not to cause our spouse mild irritation with a difficult conversation that we inadvertently create a major issue in our relationship that never gets fixed and that leads to much larger problems.Have your spouse read this post. And then when something comes up, you can say, Can we have a hyper-honesty moment? Timing is important. Yes, sooner beats later but you dont want to have serious relationship discussions when someone is late for work or operating a bandsaw.Focus on talking about your feelings. Avoid blame and accusations.FromIf Youre in My Office, Its Already Too Lateshare how youre feeling without attempting to explain it. You feel how you feel. And those feelings have repercussions both short- and long-term. They inform how we relate to our spouse or partner on a day-to-day basis. They create habits that build intimacy or distance. We owe it to ourselves and our partners to share the building blocks of our inner lives before those little blocks create a wall that separates us from them.(To learn the four fruchtwein common relationship problems and how to fix them, clickhere.)Okay, weve gotten past the honesty issueOops, sorry. No, we havent. Because weve neglected the person youre often the least honest withBe Hyper-Honest WithYourselfPeople lie to James constantly. And theres no reason to. Hes legally bound by confidentiality. And hes seen it all - so hes not judging. And, most importantly, he needs to know the facts to help his client get the best resolution. But they lie anyway. Why?Because theyre not really lying tohim. Theyve been lying to themselves for so long they dont even know its not the truth.FromIf Youre in My Office, Its Already Too LateThe most dangerous lies are the ones we tell ourselves. The unexamined life may not be worth living, but it appears to be incredibly popular, at least from where Im sitting.Everybody has a pretty good idea of what they want from their spouse. But the question thats rarely asked is whatyourereally capable of. How much are you truly willing to give and do on a daily basis without being nagged to death or having a gun to your head?FromIf Youre in My Office, Its Already Too LateWhy wait until youre getting divorced (or heading in that direction) to be honest with yourself about what youre capable of in your relationship with your spouse and/or your children? be honest with yourself, right now, about how far you really think you would be willing to go for your partner.At what point does your response to marital adversity go from Well find a way, dear to Whoa, I didnt sign on for this crap?Know your weaknesses. You cant address them if you dont admit them to yourself.FromIf Youre in My Office, Its Already Too LateBe honest with yourself, deeply and painfully honest. Admit to yourself what youre good at and what youre not good at. Admit to yourself how much time you have to devote to the goals youre trying to achieve as a parent or partner, and what youre doing with that time. Be honest a bout the aspects of partnership and/or parenting that you enjoy and the ones that you loathe (or maybe could take or leave).And on a semi-regular basis, give yourself an honest progress report. Are you doing your part? Are you putting as much effort into the marriage as you did planning the wedding?Realistic, achievable goals in terms of improving your marriage come from brutal honesty with yourself and clear, actionable steps you can take.FromIf Youre in My Office, Its Already Too LateWhy not look closely at certain key areas in your marriage and give yourself an unflinchingly honest progress report as to what youre actually doing? While youre at it, maybe you can compare that totally candid report against an equally honest, tangible set of goals that arent made up of conclusory statements lacking in measurable meaning. I want to be more present in my marriage. What the hell does that mean? Its a conclusion. Its a destination, not a path to get there. How about something more tangi ble, like I want to stop playing with my phone when my spouse is talking to me or I want to do more activities on the weekends with my spouse.Its very easy to express commitment to a principle. Its much harder to consistently take actions that demonstrate that commitment.(To learn the two-word morning ritual that will make you happy all day, clickhere.)Okay, lots of honesty flying around. And in the long term, thats great. In the short term, uh, it might lead to a little bit of conflictA Divorce Lawyers Guide To ArguingJames argues for a living. (He tells his kids he wont argue with them for free because it wouldnt be fair to his paying clients.)Luckily, this means he has learned a lot about what works and what doesnt in dispute resolution - especially in the marriage sphere.Here are a few of his key principles gleaned from all too many conversations with people who were ending their unions1) Dont be obsessed with being right or winningIf you try to win every single point your rewa rd will be a bonus round where you try to win as much as you can in the divorce proceedings.FromIf Youre in My Office, Its Already Too LateShoot for resolution rather than full satisfaction When it comes to the person you love, you can concede once in a while. Which is more important having your perspective on an issue validated and the ego gratification of being right, or the feeling of connection that comes with being both understood and understanding? Which is more important the feeling that you won the argument or the feeling that youre winning at the larger game of love and companionship?2) Keep the discussion focused on the topic at handThis prevents you left the lights on from spiraling into why you are a subhuman troll not worthy of my love.FromIf Youre in My Office, Its Already Too LateKeep disputes focused dont take current behavior and start extrapolating larger trends in the relationship because, in the moment, it might seem like a good idea to get them out in the open a nd hash them out. Such leaps are dangerous, and theyre dirty pool3) For the love of god, dont start arguments over things that cannot be changedDo you have a time machine? I doubt your spouse has a time machine. So dont get into arguments over things that can only be resolved with a time machine.FromIf Youre in My Office, Its Already Too LateSure, there are times when your spouse did or said something stupid and theyre likely to do it or say it again if the behavior is left unchecked. In those circumstances, it might be worth having the argument If youre just holding a grudge and upset with your spouse about something unrelated and its impossible to change or undo, tread lightly.So whatshouldyou do during a marital spat?Before you open your mouth, think about the part of them that you fell in love with. And then imagine that the next thing theyre going to do is pay a visit to James.FromIf Youre in My Office, Its Already Too LateImagine youre going to lose your spouse later today- th at theyre going to leave you today because of something youve done to them. How would you treat them then? Exactly as you think they would want to be treated, right? By the time I see couples, theyve reached the point where its almost impossible for them to remember that the person theyre about to divorce was once the person they loved more than anyone in the world, the person whose happiness they would do anything to bring about. Solid couples who have hit a rough patch sometimes suffer a similar amnesia. If you conjure an image of your partners best self and address that person, you can often defuse a fight or break an impasse.We remember the cruel remarks better than the compliments, so be careful when emotions flare.(To learn the secret to never being frustrated again, clickhere.)So what will improve your marriage that has nothing to do with your marriage?Get A Life (Outside Of Your Partner)Make time for you. Yourself. As an individual. Yeah, youve heard it before, I know. But I m here to confirm that neglecting thisreallydoes lead to bad things. James sees it all the time.FromIf Youre in My Office, Its Already Too LateDont lose your identity in your marriage or in becoming a parent. Im not here to regurgitate the obvious. But I would like to point out just how often this issue, in one form or another, is at the root of so many divorces The marriage vows ask us to forsake all others. They do not demand that we forsake all the other good things we can be.Dont become boring. Not that anyone wants to be boring, but it happens. A lot. And its a sad irony that a 110% focus on your marriage can make you boring which can then end your marriage. (I dont make the rules, okay? Im here to help. Seriously.)The Facebook-fueled competition to have the perfect life combined with helicopter parenting can leave you a hollowed out shell that is no longer human. You can become little more than a life support system for a family unit.This wont make you happy and it wont make y our spouse happy either.FromIf Youre in My Office, Its Already Too LateYou stay interesting to your partner by staying interested in things outside your life together. You stay interesting to yourself- therefore better equipped to stay interesting to your partner- by stepping outside the marriage, from time to time, to find satisfaction. Your spouse can be a lot of things for you without being everything. Why the hell did we start trying to have one person be everything? Who thought that was a good idea?I know, youre busy with the kids. Heres where James has some very unconventional advicePretend youre divorced.No, dont download Tinder and buy a Porsche. Engage ininformalcustodial rotation. Have days where your spouse gets the kids and where you get the kids. To allow each of you to have time to recharge and be an individual.Kids can harm a marriage. (Yeah, I said it.) Kids can turn your passionate lover into a neutered business partner in a new venture called Kids, Inc. But it does nt have to be that way.Rotate custody. Stay an individual. Stay interesting to yourself and your partner.Added bonus an occasional day away will make you appreciate your family all the more.(To learn the science behind a *good* marriage, clickhere.)Weve covered a lot of big picture stuff. What about the day-to-day?Remember Love Is A VerbThe childs game is called show and tell. In that game, showing is easy and telling is the hard part. With marriage its the reverse. Saying you love someone is easy. Putting in the effort every day to make them feel loved can be hard.What does James say is the biggest threat to any long-term relationship? Slippage. We get lazy. We take things for granted. We take our partner for granted.Marriages end gradually. And then suddenly.FromIf Youre in My Office, Its Already Too LateThe biggest danger in a long-term relationship slippage. Because- again- no one raindrop causes the flood Its trite to say, but nothing that you dont focus on- your abs, your stam p collection- will magically thrive. It will stagnate, then wither. Eventually. Why should your marriage be different? So many of my clients misspent their emotional resources on things around the marriage, until they became so depleted, there was nothing left for the marriage. They had stopped paying attention.How do we resist this? You need to zap yourself with the gratitude defibrillator every now and then.We can take our partner for granted and get resentful. Its all too easy to weave a victim narrative where you do everything and they do nothing. And then we feel entitled and do less and then they do less and its a sprint to absolute zero and the heat death of the relationship.So sit down and make a list of the good things your spouse does for you. (We all seem to be pretty good at remembering what we do for them, oddly.)FromIf Youre in My Office, Its Already Too LateFor partners whove been together a while, how do you guard against slipping into the entitlement mindset? Sit do wn and write a list of all the things your spouse does for you. Is it hard to do? Did you ever stop and think about it? You can go big or small. You can start with the big ones, such as companionship, conversation, sex, or you can get more logistical- picks up the kids, takes out the trash. Hopefully, the list isnt limited to takes out the trash. I bet youll be surprised at how much your spouse does. What would you miss if they were suddenly gone from your life or from the home you share together?Zap yourself with the gratitude defibrillator. It can restart your heart.(To learn how to deal with passive aggressive people, clickhere.)Weve completed our tour of Hades. Please unbuckle your seat belt and exit through the gift shop.Time to round up the takeaways and learn the real reason why most people end up divorced - so that you wontSum UpHeres how to stay out of James officeDefine good marriage If you dont know what your goal is, how can you achieve it?Be hyper-honest with your spou se Say it in a conversation or a deposition. Your choice.Be hyper-honest with yourself Know your weaknesses and you can prevent them. If you dont, bad luck will follow you forever.Argue well As James likes to say,Make the holes you dig shallow because the deep ones are hard to climb out of.Get a life Rotate custody so you neverreallyhave to rotate custody.Love is a verb Gratitude defibrillator - STATWhy do marriages end? Because they lost the thing that is most important. The core of marriageMeaningful connection.FromIf Youre in My Office, Its Already Too LateAsk most people to name the two top reasons for divorce, and theyll almost always guess correctly cheating and ruinous money issues. But those are never the reasons for divorce- rather, theyre the symptoms of a bad marriage. Lack of meaningful connection and proper attention and enduring affection led to those lapses,Enough scary divorce talk. Start with the last tip Love is a verb.Think of something kind your spouse does for you. Text them right now and let them know how much you appreciate it.Yes, you may sound a little crazy. Thats okay - being romantic is, by definition, a little crazy.The best kind of crazy there is.Join over 330,000 readers.Get a free weekly update via emailhere.This article first appeared on Bakadesuyo.com.You might also enjoyNew neuroscience reveals 4 rituals that will make you happyStrangers know your social class in the first seven words you say, study finds10 lessons from Benjamin Franklins daily schedule that will double your productivityThe worst mistakes you can make in an interview, according to 12 CEOs10 habits of mentally strong people

15 of the Coolest Startups to Work For Now

15 of the Coolest Startups to Work For Now15 of the Coolest Startups to Work For Now Do you like to move fast and innovate? Enjoy working with the latest technology? Thrive in a small, tight-knit environment? Then working at a startup might just be for you.The good news is that in the age of information, theres no shortage of great startups to work for. But with so many out there, it can be a bit overwhelming. So to help you narrow your search, weve identified 15 of the hottest startups, all of which are hiring now.Apply today to get in on the ground floor while you still canWhere Hiring Boston, MA Milwaukee, WI Omaha, NE Cincinnati, OH Knoxville, TN & moreWhat They Do We are a rapidly growing company thats revolutionizing the way the restaurant industry does business by pairing technology with an unrivaled commitment to customer success. We help restaurants streamline operations, increase revenue, and deliver amazing guest experiences through our platform that comb ines restaurant point of sale, guest-facing technology, and award-winning customer support.Where Hiring San Francisco, CACambridge, MA Scottsdale, AZ London, UK Toronto, Canada Berlin, GermanyWhat They Do Turo is a car sharing marketplace where local car owners provide travelers with the perfect vehicle for their next adventure. Across the country or across town, travelers choose from a unique selection of nearby cars, while car owners earn extra money and help fuel the adventures of travelers from around the world.Where Hiring San Diego, CA remoteWhat They Do Aira, founded in 2014, is focused on developing transformative remote assistive technology and services that bring greater mobility, independence and self confidence to blind and visually impaired individuals by connecting them, in an Uber style, to a network of certified Agents. Airas high-tech approach uses a real-time interactive cloud-based dashboard, built to create for the blind an augmented reality context with live data streams from cameras, GPS, and other sensor systems from wearable platforms such as Google Glass and Pivothead. This allows Airas remote Agents to render live personalized assistance to users in a myriad of daily activities ranging from navigating busy city streets and catching a bus, to ordering meals from menus at restaurants and literally traveling the globe.Where Hiring New York, NY San Francisco, CA Austin, TX & moreWhat They Do Andela provides companies with access to the top 1% of global tech talent. We identify high-potential developers on the African continent, shape them into world-class technical leaders, and pair them with companies as full-time, distributed team members.What They Do Coffee Meets kleines rundes brtchen (CMB) is a highly curated dating service where women call the final shot on who gets to talk to them among guys who expressed interest. We believe that the best dating experience is offered through a differentiated service for men and women. Glob ally, we have generated more than one million dates and thousands of lasting relationships.What They Do Wealthfront employees enable our clients to achieve their financial goals by developing sophisticated algorithms and investment strategies, intuitive user experiences and scalable infrastructure to continuously deploy mission-critical code. Join us as we help clients create their roadmap to financial freedom and scale from $11 billion in assets under management to trillions (yes, trillions).Where Hiring Sandy, UT Atlanta, GA Chicago, IL San Francisco, CA & moreWhat They Do Simplus is a Platinum Salesforce Partner, an Oracle Gold Partner, and the industry leader in Quote-to-Cash implementations, providing enterprise-wide digital transformation through advisory, implementation, change management, custom configuration, and managed services. Guided by the mantra, making complex things simple, we use leading cloud solutions to help companies achieve a strategic vision, improve perfo rmance, and increase value to stakeholders.What They Do Since graduating Y-Combinator in 2014, Checkrs product has shifted the on-demand economy and has landed on Forbes Next Billion-Dollar Startups 2016 List, and were continuing to grow and scale. As a company that provides modern and compliant background checks for global enterprises and startups, Checkr knows first hand how difficult it may be for individuals with prior criminal history to find employment and we want to help provide second chances for the formerly convicted.Where Hiring San Francisco, CA Seattle, WA Sunnyvale, CA Los Angeles, CA & moreWhat They Do We build games that get people outside and exploring. We enable our players to have fun while visiting new places, learning about the world around them, and meeting new friends. We launched Ingress, an immersive real-world mobile game played by millions of people in over 200 countries and territories, and downloaded over 20 million times. We also develop Pokmon GO, w hich has broken world records and been downloaded over 750 million times in its first year. We announced Harry Potter Wizards Unite, our latest much-anticipated AR game.What They Do MyVest builds enterprise wealth management technology for the digital age. Driven by a vision for client-centric advice, we empower firms to deliver personalized portfolios at scale.Where Hiring New York, NY Austin, TX Chicago, IL & moreWhat They Do Hudson River Trading (HRT) is a multi-asset class quantitative trading firm based in the heart of New York City. Founded in 2002, HRT develops automated trading algorithms using advanced mathematical and statistical modeling techniques and an extremely high-performance computing environment.Where Hiring San Francisco, CA Phoenix, AZ Chicago, IL Houston, TX New York, NY & moreWhat They Do Founded in 2013, DoorDash is a San Francisco-based technology company passionate about transforming local businesses and dedicated to enabling new ways of working, earni ng, and living. Today, DoorDash connects customers with their favorite local and national restaurants in more than 1000 cities across the United States and Canada.Where Hiring San Francisco, CA Reno, NV Lewiston, ME Columbus, OH Detroit, MI & moreWhat They Do Founded in 2011, Grand Rounds provides an employer-based technology solution that connects members and their families to high-quality care. With Grand Rounds, employers get a personalized, high-performance network at scale, while their employees get the tools and support needed to navigate their care on their own terms.What They Do JumpClouds Directory-as-a-Service (DaaS) is the single point of authority to authenticate, authorize, and manage the identities of a businesss employees and the systems and IT resources they need access to through a single unified cloud-based directory. JumpCloud supports all major OS platforms and is designed to control and manage user access to both internal and external IT resources such as ser vers and applications.Where Hiring San Francisco, CA Raleigh, NC Los Angeles, CAWhat They Do PlanGrid solves a major schwierigkeit for a 7,000 year-old industry. Construction data is shackled in paper blueprints that result in enormous rework costs totaling $9 billion per year for the industry due to working from outdated plans. PlanGrid is changing that. We build powerful software to help contractors, owners, designers and architects around the world finish their projects on time and under budget.

Top Simple Covering Letter for Resume Tips!

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The Dos and Donts of The Resume Writing Experts

The Dos and Donts of The Resume Writing Experts The Number One Question You Must Ask for the Resume Writing Experts Prior to going into persuasive essay writing, you should make sure you comprehend the demand for doing this. You can get the essential information on just about any topic (at the very least a couple of paragraphs), with which youll be able to work so as to compose a fantastic essay. At our essay assistance, essays are always delivered in a brief moment. Writing an essay is quite an easy and very hard job, at the exact same moment. The Little-Known Secrets to the Resume Writing Experts What all you will need is getting the assistance from a specialist and EssaysChief is going to be the expert that you seek out. If you dont possess the skills to compose an effective resume, take the aid of professional writers. Opposing expert will help you to stay honest. You cant write to be an expert your very first time out. The New Fuss About the Resume Writing Experts Regardless of what the resume needs to say, the very first impression is already made. The work, which demands the complete attention and a crystal clear mind. Theres no foolproof suggestions which will guarantee your resume to land an interview, however there are several diverse facets which make up a great resume and as a way to succeed you will need to ensure your professional resume ticks all the iabsprache boxes. After all, the very first thing you will need is to analyze the subject of the work and the center of the subject. The Tried and True Method for the Resume Writing Experts in Step by Step Detail Recruiters have to scan a great deal of resumes over a brief period of time to detect the ideal candidate theyll hire. Particularly if youre in an industry where jobs are difficult to come by Resumes are completed in no more than 1 day The Basics of the Resume Writing Experts That You Will be Able to Learn From Starting Right Away When applying for work, its wise to p hone in advance and learn if the business youre applying to scans their resume submissions. If you would like to find high excellent research and thesis papers in time and for a fair price, you should probably attempt using EssaySupply.com. Scannable resumes need specific page designs because computer scanners cannot read certain products. In just about all instances, the response is yes.